LGBTQ+ Domestic Violence in Quebec: Interview and Resources 2026

Context of the Interview

The short answer is clear: domestic violence exists in LGBTQ+ couples in Quebec, and available data suggests a prevalence at least comparable, often higher, than that observed in heterosexual couples. Yet, the phenomenon remains poorly measured. In 2024, 28,560 people were victims of a crime against the person in a domestic context in Quebec, including 21,410 of a violent crime likely to cause injury. However, this data does not always allow for knowing the sexual orientation, gender identity, or configuration of the couple.

To better understand what the numbers do not reveal, the Coalition gaie et lesbienne du Québec speaks with Nadia Fontaine, a domestic violence counselor in the Montreal community sector. She addresses the realities specific to LGBTQ+ individuals, including threats of outing, misgendering, dependency on care, and fear of not being believed. The goal is not to put people into boxes, but to equip those experiencing a concerning situation, as well as their entourage, so they can find respectful and safe help.

The Interview with Nadia Fontaine

Journalist: Why is it important to talk about LGBTQ+ domestic violence without presenting it as a marginal reality?

Nadia:

Because it is not marginal for those who experience it, even if it remains insufficiently visible in statistics and services. The INSPQ highlights that the exact extent is difficult to establish, particularly because the subject has been little studied. However, available data indicate that violence in gay and lesbian couples is probably at least as frequent as in heterosexual couples.

The figures reported by the INSPQ are particularly revealing: gay and lesbian individuals were about 2 times more likely than heterosexual individuals to report physical or sexual violence committed by a partner. Among bisexual individuals, this reported risk was about 4 times higher. These data should be seen as a warning signal, not as a ranking of suffering. They do not mean that other groups are safe: trans, non-binary, or two-spirit people are often less well documented.

In my work, the first barrier is often doubt. Some people think that a relationship between two men, two women, or people of diverse genders cannot reproduce a dynamic of control. However, domestic violence does not depend on the gender of the partners: it is based on fear, isolation, control, and the violation of autonomy.

Journalist: What actions or behaviors should alert someone who wonders if they are experiencing violence?

Nadia:

One should not wait for a physical assault to seek help. Violence can be psychological, sexual, economic, digital, or physical. In an LGBTQ+ relationship, it can also take very targeted forms: threatening to reveal sexual orientation, trans identity, or serological status to family, work, or the community; deliberately using the deadname or wrong pronouns; belittling a transition; preventing access to hormones, care, or identity documents.

I encourage people to look at the dynamics rather than an isolated incident. Does the other monitor your messages, decide who you see, cut you off from your network, make you fear their reaction if you refuse something? Do you change your habits to avoid a crisis? When someone controls money, movements, care, or the phone, it is not just a couple's quarrel.

A common trap is the idea that it is a "dispute between equals." Two partners may yell at each other, but that does not erase a dynamic of coercive control. A person may also physically defend themselves. The protective reaction does not automatically turn the victim into the person responsible for the violence.

Journalist: You emphasize outing. How can this threat become a tool of control?

Nadia:

Forced outing can be extremely powerful because it targets a person's social, familial, professional, or religious security. The abuser might say: "If you leave, I'll tell your family," "I'll write to your employer," or "I'll reveal your serological status." Even if the threat is never carried out, it can be enough to prevent someone from leaving, seeking help, or filing a complaint.

The control can also target an immigration process, child custody, access to housing, or belonging to a small community network. In a region or a restricted social circle, leaving a relationship can feel like losing one's entire community at once. That's why it's important to avoid hasty advice like "leave immediately." Safety remains a priority, but a departure is sometimes prepared discreetly.

In Quebec, reporting can force a person to reveal a sexual orientation or gender identity they do not wish to disclose. This reality can delay seeking help. This does not mean they are alone: one can start by talking to a resource, assessing risks, and choosing what can be communicated, to whom, and when.

Journalist: Why do bisexual people and gay men seem particularly exposed in the available data?

Nadia:

The data cited by the INSPQ show a reported overexposure among bisexual individuals, about 4 times more likely to report physical or sexual violence than a heterosexual person, and among gay and lesbian individuals, about 2 times more. They also show marked exposure of gay men and bisexual individuals. But caution is needed: these are useful data, not a complete picture of all realities.

Bisexual individuals may deal with biphobia, invalidation of their identity, and isolation. A partner may use this to destabilize them: questioning their orientation, constantly accusing them of infidelity, or claiming that no one will believe them. These are control mechanisms, not inevitable traits of a relationship.

It would be dangerous to conclude that lesbian women, trans, non-binary, racialized, immigrant, disabled, or two-spirit people are less at risk. Many are less documented or face more barriers. Statistics should therefore serve to improve access to help, never to decide who deserves to be believed.

Journalist: What most often prevents a victim from seeking help or filing a complaint?

Nadia:

The fear of the abuser is real, but it does not explain everything. Many fear being misgendered, having to explain their identity before being able to recount the facts, or not being believed. Others have already had bad experiences with the police, courts, social services, or shelters. Anticipated discrimination can be as paralyzing as experienced discrimination.

There is also the fear that responders or police will see two partners as equally responsible, especially if the victim has pushed the other away or defended themselves. Some people fear fueling prejudices that LGBTQ+ couples are violent or unstable. They may choose silence to protect their community, while the responsibility for the violence lies with the person who exercises it.

Financial dependence, a precarious immigration status, access to hormones or other care, children, pets, and housing also complicate choices. The Criminal Code protects victims regardless of sexual orientation, and same-sex partners have the same rights as heterosexual couples. Knowing this principle can help, but a person does not have to navigate these obstacles alone.

Journalist: What can someone do if they are not ready to leave or file a complaint?

Nadia:

They can seek help without making an immediate decision. Calling SOS domestic violence at 1 800 363-9010 allows them to talk about the situation, be listened to, and directed to resources or shelters. The telephone service is available 24/7. Text and chat options also complement the phone line.

This call can be used to build a tailored safety plan: identify a trusted person, think of a place to go, prepare essentials, or establish a safe way to communicate. However, digital surveillance must be considered. If the other person checks the phone, emails, or browsing history, it is preferable to use a secure device, such as one from a trusted person or a public place.

The person retains control over their decisions. Seeking advice does not obligate them to call the police or leave the same day. In an immediate danger situation, the priority changes: leave the premises if possible, do not announce the departure if it increases the risk, and dial 911.

Journalist: Are shelters truly accessible to all LGBTQ+ individuals?

Nadia:

Shelter can be an important solution, but access is not uniform. The houses that are members of the Federation of Women's Shelters offer safe accommodation, psychosocial support, legal assistance, and help after separation. However, it is necessary to verify on a case-by-case basis the reception of trans, non-binary people, or particular family configurations.

Before moving, I encourage people to ask concrete questions: does the house welcome men, trans, and non-binary people? Can children come? Are pets accepted? Is the staff trained on LGBTQ+ realities? Will identity and orientation be protected in communications? Can one get support to file a complaint? These questions are not demanding: they are necessary for help to be safe.

If the sought refuge is not accessible in the region, it is important to ask what other options exist. SOS domestic violence can direct to resources, and 211 Quebec can help locate local community and social services. The important thing is not to conclude too quickly that there is no open door.

Journalist: What role can the CAVAC play for an LGBTQ+ person who wants to understand their options?

Nadia:

The CAVAC can offer support to victims of criminal acts, information on procedures, psychosocial support, and legal guidance. Its number is 1 866 532-2822. It is a useful resource when someone wonders what a complaint involves, wishes to be accompanied in their steps, or seeks to better understand their rights without having to resolve everything at once.

A person can specify their needs from the start: respect for their name and pronouns, confidentiality regarding their orientation or identity, fear of being confronted by their partner, need for information on the steps. Naming these needs helps the responder adapt the support. If the experience is not satisfactory, it remains legitimate to seek another resource person or request that the facts be treated with respect.

For psychosocial support and regional orientation, Info-Social is accessible at 811. Indigenous 2ELGBTQIA+ individuals can also check local Indigenous, two-spirit resources, or friendship centers, depending on what is available in their region and what seems culturally safe.

Journalist: How can those around help without putting the person in more danger?

Nadia:

The entourage can make a big difference by listening without demanding proof or imposing a decision. A phrase like "I believe you, you don't deserve this, we can look at options together" is often more helpful than "You must leave now." It is important to avoid confronting the abuser, writing to them, or announcing that you know the situation: this can increase the risk for the targeted person.

Offer precise and discreet help: a place to call, the loan of a secure device, transportation, temporary care of a pet if possible, or presence during a call to a resource. Before sending messages about the situation, always ask if communications are monitored. Also, do not leave visible traces that could be discovered by the other partner.

Violence also affects mental health, isolation, and the sense of belonging. To complete a process, one can consult minority stress and LGBTQ+ mental health support resources in Quebec. But in an emergency, the instruction remains simple: 911, then a request for adapted help as soon as the person is safe.

Recognizing a Control Dynamic

Domestic violence is not limited to visible injuries. It can gradually set in through insults, threats, monitoring of communications, control of money, movements, or social interactions. In LGBTQ+ couples, acts of domination may target what makes a person more vulnerable: their transition, serological status, migration journey, access to care, or connection to a restricted community.

It is helpful to ask simple questions: can I say no without fearing punishment? Can I see my loved ones without having to justify myself? Does the other control my medication, hormones, papers, or phone? Do I constantly feel obliged to minimize what is happening? These questions are not meant to diagnose a relationship; they help recognize when fear and control take up too much space.

Repeated misgendering, the use of a deadname, or humiliations related to orientation are not mere blunders when used to demean, isolate, or control. Similarly, threatening to reveal an identity, orientation, or serological status constitutes a serious form of pressure. For young people, the resources described in emergency aid and helplines for LGBTQ+ youth can be added to domestic violence services.

Immediate Resources and Support

When a situation becomes concerning, it is not necessary to have all the details in order to call. SOS domestic violence, at 1 800 363-9010, is accessible 24/7. The service offers listening, help, and guidance towards resources and shelters. Text and chat options are also offered according to the organization's modalities, which can be useful when calling is not safe.

211 Quebec can also help locate local community and social resources. To broaden your search for care and support, you can consult the directory of LGBTQ+ clinics and helplines in Quebec. A request for information does not commit you to file a complaint: it can be the first step in a safer plan.

Shelter: Check Before Moving

Shelters can provide a safe place, psychosocial support, legal assistance, and help after separation. The member houses of the Federation of Women's Shelters are an important avenue. However, accessibility varies depending on location and needs: admission of men, trans or non-binary people, presence of children, pet accommodation, and confidentiality modalities.

This variability should never place the responsibility on a person to manage alone. They can call SOS domestic violence for guidance, explain their needs, and check options. It is also possible to ask if there is a solution when the specialized or inclusive shelter sought is not accessible in the region. Safety and respect for identity should be part of the discussion from the first contact.

• Ask who can be admitted: adults, children, pets, and specific family configurations.
• Check how name, pronouns, identity, and orientation will be protected in communications.
• Ask if the staff is knowledgeable about LGBTQ+ realities and if support towards filing a complaint is possible.

Needs may also differ for lesbian women and their loved ones; it may be relevant to know the resources of the lesbian community in Quebec in addition to emergency services. The essential thing is to choose an approach that does not increase danger.

Complaint, Confidentiality, and Digital Security

A complaint is not the only gateway to help, but it can be considered with support. The Criminal Code protects victims regardless of sexual orientation, and same-sex partners have the same rights as heterosexual couples. CAVAC, at 1 866 532-2822, can explain the procedures, offer psychosocial support, and guide towards legal information.

If you contact 911 in an emergency, you can specify, when possible, that it is domestic violence and that your LGBTQ+ identity should be treated confidentially. It is also reasonable to request respect for your name and pronouns. A previous difficult experience does not take away your right to dignified reception and services that stick to the facts.

Digital security deserves particular attention. If the partner monitors the phone, social networks, emails, or shared accounts, use a secure device to seek help. Avoid announcing a departure if it increases the risk. Keep only what is safe to keep and prioritize a plan developed with a resource rather than actions that could be discovered.

Supporting Without Judging or Exposing

When a close person confides, the most helpful reflex is to believe their story, listen, and ask what they need now. Violence may have undermined their confidence and network; questioning their experience or demanding they leave immediately can reinforce their isolation. You can say: "I am here, I believe you, we can call together if you wish."

Avoid contacting or confronting the violent partner. Even with good intentions, this can lead to retaliation. Instead, offer concrete and discreet support: a place to make a call, transportation, presence during a procedure, or help in finding resources. Always ask if calls, texts, and emails are safe before sending information.

Families and loved ones may also need guidance to support without exhausting themselves or taking risks. As additional reading, you can consult support for families and caregivers. In case of immediate danger, do not attempt to manage the situation alone: call 911 and then seek guidance from appropriate services.